Alien voyeurs descend upon Voyager to secretly observe everyone’s make-out parties and bathroom habits! Will their research agenda turn the ship into the quadrant’s deadliest game of Sims 4? Can Janeway’s subconscious desire to kill the crew save the crew from being killed? Will Tom and B’Elanna get all PG-13 on Tuvok’s desk while he’s on lunch break? Is “Scientific Method” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
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A stray Borg signal puts Voyager’s rookie crew member into “recall” mode, resulting in one stolen shuttle, several assaulted colleagues, and numerous ham-fisted flashbacks. That’s so Seven! Will the mystery of the raven be unraveled? Will Tuvok and Seven become stoic besties? Will Jeri Ryan rescue yet another questionable script? Is “The Raven” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
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When a holographic Norman Bates discovers the joy of murder, no filthy organic is safe from his squeaky rage! Can the Doctor convince him that humans are less gross than fish? Does B’Elanna have redundant organs? Will the Hitchcock estate sue? Is “Revulsion” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
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Fathom the tale of a warrior band locked in endless combat with an implacable foe that definitely isn’t the Predator! Their only hope of survival: a faithful first officer with a familiar face tattoo! Will Ckakotay ride the rages past the trembles and send the beasties to the way-after? Will the universal translator explode from trying to sift through all this folky nonsense? Is “Nemesis” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
It’s the most wonderful time of the Klingon year, but B’Elanna Torres has come down with a case of the qapla’-humbugs! Can her friends guilt her into participating in a series of painful and disgusting holiday traditions? Can Janeway and the crew recover Voyager’s warp core without accidentally sending a problematic message that reinforces negative stereotypes about refugees? Will Tom Paris risk the vacuum of space for a smooch? Is “Day of Honor” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Season 4 giveth a human-looking Seven of Nine and taketh away a Kes, at last fulfilling the dark bargain a season in the making. Is Kes’ final ascension to the Phoenix Force the ending the character truly deserved? Is Seven of Nine’s surprisingly rapid deBorgification a case of “too hot, too fast?” Is Janeway’s casual authoritarianism a total mood or is it simply rude? Is case 4.02 “The Gift” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
The People v. Star Trek: Voyager is BACK with a BRAND NEW episode that was TECHNICALLY recorded in September of 2019… but, hey, it’s new to you! Season 4 roars to life in front of a live DragonCon audience, and Scorpion, Part 2, is first in line for a meet & greet with Lady Justice! Will Janeway finally cross the line in defense of her crew and her mission? Will Chakotay storm around the bridge in a huff, or will he storm around other rooms in a huff? Will we spend the entire time geeking out over the debut of 7 of 9? Is Scorpion, Part 2, GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
At long last, the finale to The People v. Star Trek: Voyager’s thrill-ride third season has arrived! A robust sampling of the Patreon Grand Jury has spoken! Fates have been sealed! Lady Justice has packed herself a picnic… and the corn salad is NOT gluten-free! Will season 3’s stratospheric highs cancel out its embarrassing lows? Will John Q and Zap repair the Judge’s corrupted programming with a touching duet about Voyager and/or friendship? Is SEASON 3 of Star Trek: Voyager GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Git over heeere for season 3’s thrill-ride finale! New dangers! New interpersonal conflicts! Genuinely disturbing towers of mangled Borg body parts! Will a budgetary shot-in-the-arm be enough to send season 3 out on a winning verdict? Will Janeway’s first spoken-word metal album be called “Appeal to the Devil?” Does the Space Court have the narrative gravitas to pull off a BIG-TIME SHOCKING CLIFFHANGER? Is “Scorpion, Part 1” good... or is it garbage?
Voyager learns what concerned parents and pandering conservative politicians have known for decades: Playing violent video games WILL cause your dead nemesis to return and hijack your starship. Will Voyager fall victim to Super Mutiny Simulator’s deadly day-one patch? Will Tuvok self-publish? Will a Paris versus Paris showdown rip the Universe apart? Is “Worst-Case Scenario” good... or is it garbage?
Mystery abounds as Voyager’s crew is slowly replaced by hapless aliens who turn out to be totally unhapless jerkwads! Criticism abounds as solid storytelling is slowly replaced by spotty narrative logic! Will Janeway retake her ship from the Delta Quadrant’s lamest pirates? Will the crew be forced to live out their days in the skylit atrium of a pretty nice 1990s mall? Will we ever learn how universal translators work? Is Case 3.24 “Displaced” good… or is it garbage?
Trapped in a malfunctioning turbolift, the members of Space Court must render justice through the Muzak-spewing speakers of their grey-paneled prison! Trapped in a Honda on the way to the QuikTrip in Commerce, Ga., the voices from the holocron must render analysis from the humid expanse of Georgia Hwy 441! Will the crew of Voyager befriend the descendants of the characters from ABC’s Dinosaurs? Will the team successfully resist the siren song of the random guy shouting “Y’ALL WANT A FREE ICE CREAM CONE” at the QuikTrip? Is “Distant Origin” good... or is it garbage?
Voyager boldly attempts a feat that has bedeviled humanity’s greatest writers for generations: to tell a tale that seamlessly blends the exploration of space-subspace interfold anomalies with the exploration of the modern family. Will they succeed, or will this episode plod on as a two-headed monster of half-baked plotlines? Will the Doctor learn the true meaning of living with a teenager who is kind of an a-hole? Or will Torres kill another member of his holographic brood for her own sadistic enjoyment? Is episode 3.22 “Real Life” good... or is it garbage?
Theorizing that one could time travel within her own lifetime, Dr. Old-ass Kes stepped into the biotemporal chamber… and vanished. She awoke to find herself careening through her own past, facing mirror images that were younger and had better hair, and driven by an unknown force to change history so that Torres and Janeway don’t get killed by a friggin’ console explosion sometime in Season 4. Her only guide on this journey is Andrew, her super-weird grandson, who most people try not to see or hear because his very existence reminds them that Harry married Tom’s daughter. And so Old-ass Kes finds herself leaping from time to time, striving to put right what might still go wrong, and hoping each time that the next leap… will be the leap home.
Voyager encounters an unknown alien race that at first is like, “Aw, hey, we’re nice,” but then they totally aren’t, and the ensuing firefight leads a recently mutated Ensign Kim into his absolute best chance at getting laid on this trip. But are the happenin’ gals of Taresia what they appear to be? Will Harry escape with all or most of his fluids still in his possession? Will the writers truly have the gall to try and pass this episode off as an erudite reference to a Homeric epic? Is case 3.20 “Favorite Son” good... or is it garbage?
Join Neelix and Tuvok on a thrilling, high-speed, vertical journey into friendship! Join the members of the Space Court on a plodding, low-speed journey into near-gridlock! Acquaintanceships will be tested. Effects budgets will be pushed to their modest limits. Will this likeable mediocrity of an episode be the fiery crucible that strengthens the steel bonds of comradery? Will anyone ever explain why we don’t have space elevators in real life? Is Case 319 “Rise” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
The Doctor is all grown up and ready to embrace his inner darkness! Kes is all grown up and ready to embrace a strapping, young space hobo! Voyager sets out to create a 24th-century “Jekyll & Hyde,” but instead invents “The Beam Up of Shame!” Who will survive when the Doctor becomes a photonic amalgamation of history’s most brilliant sociopaths? Will we ever stop celebrating the fact that Neelix and Kes are officially broken up? Will anyone ever explain the last scene to us? Is S3E18 “Darkling” GOOD… or is it Garbage?
The three-part Nekrit Expanse arc comes to a dramatic conclusion (Did you know there was a Nekrit Expanse arc? Well, turns out there was, and we just finished it)! Separated from Janeway by a shuttle crash, Chakotay quickly finds another smart, lovely, ultra-competent woman to jerk him around. But behind her talk of utopian collectivism and (overrated) Texas barbecue lurks a shocking secret! Will their romance falter when it’s revealed that she’s a freakin’ BORG?! Will Chakotay risk it all to help his battery-powered girlyfriend convince everyone to join her weird co-op? Will storm-induced technical difficulties in our studio result in an episode that sounds like the speech track from a Super Nintendo game? Is S3E17 “Unity” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
A strange, unsettling, and oddly enjoyable episode gets the strange, unsettling, and oddly enjoyable treatment it deserves, courtesy of a holiday weekend and two-thirds a bottle of good bourbon! Will Torres survive the first recorded case of Klingon Pon Farr? Will Paris’ praise-worthy commitment to informed, enthusiastic consent threaten his reputation as an immature jerkwad? Will anything in this episode be funny now that we’ve sobered up? Is “Blood Fever” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
This episode was brought to you by Michter’s and Captain D’s.
Janeway goes full Groundhog Day in one of Season 3’s craz:::SUBSPACE ANOMALY DETECTE::D::DDD@#’’’ALL HAIL THE EMPRESS. GLORY TO THE TERRAN EMPIRE. The true arbiters of justice convene once again to punish another potentially treasonous episode of Voyager! A perfectly reasonable inter-dimensional tyrant offers to free Janeway from a temporal loop in exchange for an aeon of servitude. Will the foolish captain take her rightful place within the cosmic inferno? Will Judge Imperatus Afternoonien Now amuse himself by allowing this offering to cling to its pathetic existence for one more day, or will another episode be sentenced to a just death? Is episode 3.14 “Coda” PERMISSIBLE… or is it PUNISHABLE BY DEATH?
