A doctor is sick, and the only doctor who can save him is The Doctor! The EMH hops into WinZip and e-mails himself back to the Alpha Quadrant for a medical emergency unlike any other! Can he save his cantankerous, emotionally abusive genius of a pseudo-father? Is it possible for the marvelous presence of Counselor Troi to be kind of a drag? Whatever happened to all that holo-rights stuff? Is “Life Line” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
In an episode that should not be listened to by anyone ever, we decide to drink multiple rounds of something called a “pickleback” while discussing the violent, rage-soaked return of Kes to the Voyager stage! Can she save the ship from her angry old lady self? Will this story bring long-awaited closure to the Ocampan arc? Did we provide any coherent commentary in the second half of this episode? Is “Fury” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
B’Elanna falls from the sky and lands in the adoring clutches of an alien bard! He’s writing for his life on a proxy of ancient-ish, renaissance-ish Earth, but B’Elanna is more of a math person! Will she escape back to Voyager before the bard can finish his peacemaking masterpiece? Will anyone notice that Harry also fell from the sky? Is “Muse” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Three con artists on a garbage scowl engage in the Delta Quadrant’s most devious crime: unauthorized Voyager cosplay! Can Janeway put an end to their spree before her reputation as a killer is replaced by a reputation as a cheat? Will random criminal guy take his one-man show “I, Tuvok” on the road? Is “Live Fast and Prosper” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Janeway takes four sad-sack crew members out for some mandatory fun in a gas giant! Can a tightly regimented afternoon of professional development and forced morale building turn these weirdos into Starfleet material? What insane lengths will this season reach in order to avoid dealing directly with its main characters? Should this thrilling look into Janeway’s staff management philosophy have been a two-parter? Is “Good Shepherd” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
WRASSLIN’ COURT convenes to bring you all the high-flyin’, hard-hittin’, bone-crunchin’ action of what is arguably Season 6’s most boring episode! Will Icheb’s newly found parents put his future in a figure-four leglock? Can Seven of Nine take their nefarious (yet well-obscured) plans to Suplex City? Will Tom hit Neelix with that Sweet Chin Music and send him flying out the airlock? It’s time for Eternal Grapplehug Wrestling, and the in-ring action will answer one big question: Is Child’s Play GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
After striking out with holograms, malicious aliens, and holographic cows, Harry Kim decides to try dating the undead! Can his Academy crush be salvaged from her new life as a corpse-recycling alien with great makeup? Will their rekindled love create yet another diplomatic incident for Voyager? Is “Ashes to Ashes” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Voyager makes a regrettable return to Fair Haven in an adventure that simultaneously strains the limits of holographic technology, audience credulity, and human compassion. Will Tom and Harry be burned as warlocks, as we always suspected they might? Will Janeway’s digital boyfriend lead the NPC revolution? Will Star Trek writers ever leave the Irish alone? Is “Spirit Folk” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Chakotay & chakompany are kidnapped and held hostage by a Borg youth group on the hunt for a new deflector array! Can Harry pull off a daring rescue from within the derelict Cube? Can Seven muster enough parental authority to get these adolescent killing machines under control before Janeway resorts to biological warfare? Will Neelix have to open a Hot Topic in cargo bay 7 to placate the moody Borg teens? Is “Collective” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
After being kidnapped and conscripted into a pay-per-view space kickboxing league, Seven of Nine has no choice but to become the most electrifying drone in sports entertainment! Can she layeth the smacketh down long enough to keep Tuvok (and herself) alive? Can Acting Captain Chakotay teach Penk (The Great Jeffery Combs) to know his role and/or shut his mouth? Will the Space Court smell what the writers were cookin’? Is “Tsunkatse” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Tom, Chakotay, Harry, and Neelix return from an away mission with horrifying memories of atrocities that they maybe, almost probably, did not commit. Can the crew unravel the mystery behind the galaxy’s most aggressive public monument? Will Tom successfully douse his trauma in beer and cartoons? Is “Memorial” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
After becoming an overnight musical sensation on Planet Jerkwad, the Doctor shockingly decides he prefers adulation over casual disrespect! How they gonna keep him down on the metaphorical farm now that he’s had a taste of fame? Can Janeway crush his dreams in time to save the crew from Chief Medical Officer Tom Paris? Does this finally satisfy the “vocal performance opportunities” clause in Picardo’s contract? Is “Virtuoso” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Voyager gets becalmed over a planet with a temporal compression phenomena, leading the planet’s primitive civilization to make a highly questionable choice in personal lord and savior! How will Janeway respond to her new role as angry sky god? Can the crew escape orbit before their worshippers become violently secular? Is “Blink of an Eye” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Tom Paris lures the entire crew into his “Irish Pub in Alpharetta, Georgia” Sims 4 holo-mod. Janeway shocks herself by getting, uh, a little too into the game. It’s (kind of) the exploration of sexy social holo-norms we’ve long awaited! Can the good Captain “Katie O’Clare” reconcile her need to maintain control with her need to not be lonely all the time? Is it possible that we learn a little too much about what Janeway wants in a romantic partner? Is “Fair Haven” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
Men will literally create a micro-wormhole to establish a quantum communications link with a lost starship instead of going to therapy. Can Voyager’s most unlikely TNG guest star bring words of hope to the best friends he’s never met? Can Kate Mulgrew win an Academy Award for a UPN show? Is “Pathfinder” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Greetings, Tarnished. Queen Annika Hansen the Seventernal has plunged her mind into the ever-flowing river of Accursed Knowledge, and her thirst for clarity has been slaked instead with the nectar of madness. Harken the Noble Triumvirate of Barking Fools as they face podcast death again and again in their quest to answer the Elden Question: Is “The Voyager Conspiracy” a shimmering falcon… or is it nothing more than the fading whisper of the fire as the ashes fall cold?
Against her better judgment, Seven gets roped into Chakotay’s nerdy anthropology hobby! Will joining an away mission to recover a pre-WW3 space vessel from the belly of a roving subspace phenomenon help her discover her love of aerospace history? Was Zephraim Cochran just some first-contact also-ran whose only notable contribution was inventing warp drive? Will this episode be one giant leap for Season 6? Is “One Small Step” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Seven learns the dangers of mashing buttons in space when she accidentally awakens a long-dormant race of subspace raiders! Can Voyager prevent them from going back to their pillaging ways? Will Seven face the wrath of Janeway’s chiding finger wag? Why is Naomi Wildman in this episode? Where is her mother? Is “Dragon’s Teeth” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
An alien attack aboard the Delta Flyer leaves Tuvok recovering from a tragic case of Thinking Neelix is an OK Guy! Can he recover before Neelix talks him into a bro’s weekend on Gatlinburg VI? Is there such a thing as true self, or are we simply just what we are at any given moment? Should Tuvok be worried that no one seems to miss the old him all that much? Is “Riddles” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
SCARLET ALERT FOR VERY R-RATED AND EXTRA SEXY LANGUAGE (seriously, more than usual). The Space Sex Court convenes for the first time to litigate the dark and steamy tale of a handsome, young ensign who must choose between staying true to his longtime girlfriend and making love to a derelict murdership he picked up in a junkyard! Will Tom follow his new obsession into the forbidden arms of garbage-suited bliss? Will B’ELanna murder Tom before Alice can murder B’ELanna? Will Janeway ever realize there is something weird going on? Is “Alice” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
(For those wishing to skip the more concentrated moments of sexual shenanigans, start listening at 00:06:50 and stop at the end of the final thoughts in the discussion section.)
