WRASSLIN’ COURT convenes to bring you all the high-flyin’, hard-hittin’, bone-crunchin’ action of what is arguably Season 6’s most boring episode! Will Icheb’s newly found parents put his future in a figure-four leglock? Can Seven of Nine take their nefarious (yet well-obscured) plans to Suplex City? Will Tom hit Neelix with that Sweet Chin Music and send him flying out the airlock? It’s time for Eternal Grapplehug Wrestling, and the in-ring action will answer one big question: Is Child’s Play GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
After striking out with holograms, malicious aliens, and holographic cows, Harry Kim decides to try dating the undead! Can his Academy crush be salvaged from her new life as a corpse-recycling alien with great makeup? Will their rekindled love create yet another diplomatic incident for Voyager? Is “Ashes to Ashes” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Voyager makes a regrettable return to Fair Haven in an adventure that simultaneously strains the limits of holographic technology, audience credulity, and human compassion. Will Tom and Harry be burned as warlocks, as we always suspected they might? Will Janeway’s digital boyfriend lead the NPC revolution? Will Star Trek writers ever leave the Irish alone? Is “Spirit Folk” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Chakotay & chakompany are kidnapped and held hostage by a Borg youth group on the hunt for a new deflector array! Can Harry pull off a daring rescue from within the derelict Cube? Can Seven muster enough parental authority to get these adolescent killing machines under control before Janeway resorts to biological warfare? Will Neelix have to open a Hot Topic in cargo bay 7 to placate the moody Borg teens? Is “Collective” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
After being kidnapped and conscripted into a pay-per-view space kickboxing league, Seven of Nine has no choice but to become the most electrifying drone in sports entertainment! Can she layeth the smacketh down long enough to keep Tuvok (and herself) alive? Can Acting Captain Chakotay teach Penk (The Great Jeffery Combs) to know his role and/or shut his mouth? Will the Space Court smell what the writers were cookin’? Is “Tsunkatse” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Tom, Chakotay, Harry, and Neelix return from an away mission with horrifying memories of atrocities that they maybe, almost probably, did not commit. Can the crew unravel the mystery behind the galaxy’s most aggressive public monument? Will Tom successfully douse his trauma in beer and cartoons? Is “Memorial” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
After becoming an overnight musical sensation on Planet Jerkwad, the Doctor shockingly decides he prefers adulation over casual disrespect! How they gonna keep him down on the metaphorical farm now that he’s had a taste of fame? Can Janeway crush his dreams in time to save the crew from Chief Medical Officer Tom Paris? Does this finally satisfy the “vocal performance opportunities” clause in Picardo’s contract? Is “Virtuoso” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Voyager gets becalmed over a planet with a temporal compression phenomena, leading the planet’s primitive civilization to make a highly questionable choice in personal lord and savior! How will Janeway respond to her new role as angry sky god? Can the crew escape orbit before their worshippers become violently secular? Is “Blink of an Eye” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Tom Paris lures the entire crew into his “Irish Pub in Alpharetta, Georgia” Sims 4 holo-mod. Janeway shocks herself by getting, uh, a little too into the game. It’s (kind of) the exploration of sexy social holo-norms we’ve long awaited! Can the good Captain “Katie O’Clare” reconcile her need to maintain control with her need to not be lonely all the time? Is it possible that we learn a little too much about what Janeway wants in a romantic partner? Is “Fair Haven” GOOD... or is it GARBAGE?
Men will literally create a micro-wormhole to establish a quantum communications link with a lost starship instead of going to therapy. Can Voyager’s most unlikely TNG guest star bring words of hope to the best friends he’s never met? Can Kate Mulgrew win an Academy Award for a UPN show? Is “Pathfinder” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Greetings, Tarnished. Queen Annika Hansen the Seventernal has plunged her mind into the ever-flowing river of Accursed Knowledge, and her thirst for clarity has been slaked instead with the nectar of madness. Harken the Noble Triumvirate of Barking Fools as they face podcast death again and again in their quest to answer the Elden Question: Is “The Voyager Conspiracy” a shimmering falcon… or is it nothing more than the fading whisper of the fire as the ashes fall cold?
Against her better judgment, Seven gets roped into Chakotay’s nerdy anthropology hobby! Will joining an away mission to recover a pre-WW3 space vessel from the belly of a roving subspace phenomenon help her discover her love of aerospace history? Was Zephraim Cochran just some first-contact also-ran whose only notable contribution was inventing warp drive? Will this episode be one giant leap for Season 6? Is “One Small Step” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Seven learns the dangers of mashing buttons in space when she accidentally awakens a long-dormant race of subspace raiders! Can Voyager prevent them from going back to their pillaging ways? Will Seven face the wrath of Janeway’s chiding finger wag? Why is Naomi Wildman in this episode? Where is her mother? Is “Dragon’s Teeth” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
An alien attack aboard the Delta Flyer leaves Tuvok recovering from a tragic case of Thinking Neelix is an OK Guy! Can he recover before Neelix talks him into a bro’s weekend on Gatlinburg VI? Is there such a thing as true self, or are we simply just what we are at any given moment? Should Tuvok be worried that no one seems to miss the old him all that much? Is “Riddles” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
SCARLET ALERT FOR VERY R-RATED AND EXTRA SEXY LANGUAGE (seriously, more than usual). The Space Sex Court convenes for the first time to litigate the dark and steamy tale of a handsome, young ensign who must choose between staying true to his longtime girlfriend and making love to a derelict murdership he picked up in a junkyard! Will Tom follow his new obsession into the forbidden arms of garbage-suited bliss? Will B’ELanna murder Tom before Alice can murder B’ELanna? Will Janeway ever realize there is something weird going on? Is “Alice” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
(For those wishing to skip the more concentrated moments of sexual shenanigans, start listening at 00:06:50 and stop at the end of the final thoughts in the discussion section.)
Deep within a secret laboratory in the deserts of Nevada, a team of government researchers smashes through sacrosanct boundaries of science and ethics to finally achieve ABSOLUTE PICARDO— and an episode of Voyager is born! Will the Doctor lose himself in a labyrinth of his own schtick? Will his ridiculous daydreams save the ship from an unseen legion of space-faring potato men? Is “Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Fire up your solid-body Gibson and let that power chord sing— B’Elanna Torres is taking a trip on the BARGE of the DEAAAADDDD!!! Can she repair her relationship with her mother in time to escape a hell that looks suspiciously like the final level of Quake? Is Janeway her new mom? Is there life after death? More importantly, is “Barge of the Dead” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
The sins of Seven’s past come back to haunt her (again), this time in the form of three Borg Buddies toting a grudge against their former tertiary adjunct. Can she make up for mistakes she made in the name of the Collective? Is this the last time Season 6 will trot out the “individualism vs. collectivism” argument, or the first of many? Who did Tom and Harry kill in that street fight? Is “Survival Instinct” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
Season 6 is finally here, and its first mission is to mop up the mess left by Season 5! The fallout from Equinox, Part I, threatens to tear apart the Janeway/Chakotay command superduo for the umpteenth time, while Seven fights for her life in the clutches of Evil Doctor! Can Ransom be redeemed? If not, can Ransom be murdered by Janeway? Will Voyager’s bridge plaque stay on the damn wall this time? Is “Equinox, Part II” GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
At long last, Season 5’s fate is decided— in an original musical extravaganza! Pushed to the brink by this contentious slate of episodes, the legal heroes of the Space Court express their angst through the majesty of song and dance, except you have to imagine the dance part because it’s a podcast. In the midst of it all, a thorough recounting of the facts in evidence is provided before the Patreon Grand Jury’s verdict is finally revealed. Is Season 5 of Star Trek: Voyager GOOD… or is it GARBAGE?
